Whelp, I’m not gonna lie, I was in a bad mood pretty much my entire walk and nothing could bring me out of it.
At one point some dude just kept shouting “help me anyone” and all I could think was “me too.” Wedding planning kind of sucks. It’s expensive and stressful and I find myself just wanting it to be over.
With those thoughts occupying my mind, I stomped around the city (that’s how I imagine I walk when I’m angry) with no destination in mind. Some guys yelled some vulgar shit out of their car and it just felt like the whole world wanted to be an asshole, myself included. Oh, and I ripped my pants!
Living in the most expensive city in the world gets really old when you’re broke. Seems like my anxiety has gone from making me sad to mad. Why can’t it manifest itself as glad?! You can thank me later for that inspired bit of poetry.
I also found myself swing clapping my arms as I walked, something I’ve never done before. Maybe it’s a new nervous tic.
A few good things about my walk since I’ve spent this whole post bitching;
-Chris’ ability to be quiet for an hour and let me stew in my thoughts.
-I splurged on a soda and candy bar, something I haven’t done in forever.
-The weather was perfect and the breeze very soothing.
-I bought some lovely steaks to cook tonight, because if I can’t go to the fancy dinner, I’ll bring the dinner to me!
To my readers out there (all five of you), I guess the point of this walk/post is to remember that it’s okay to let yourself be angry sometimes. Even when the sun is shining and it feels irrational and the whole world expects you to be chipper. Dwell in that anger and then get yourself some chocolate and move on. By the end of the walk I did feel a little better. But only a little….
Now excuse me while I go pout about my first world problems.